Divorce

What To Do About Domestic Abuse — You Don’t Deserve To Live In Misery

By August 27, 2017 No Comments

Every relationship is marred by imperfections stemming from tiny little fractures rooted deep within each partner’s personalities. These fractures can eventually devolve into full scale conflicts between both the spouses involving both emotional and physical violence. when a relationship reaches the tipping point where one partner subjects the other to frequent physical abuse, it is time for authorities and family court lawyers to step in.

In some cases, a partner is so frightful of the consequences should they seek help that they continue to suffer physical, sexual, and emotional abuse for years on end, accepting their miserable state of affairs as ‘fate’ or as ‘the card they have been dealt with’.

The world at large has progressed from the troubling era where abuse and subjugation from the more powerful spouse was considered somehow acceptable and became the ‘norm’. Today, certain laws in the US ensure that even a threatening email can be penalized with jail time for the writer. Hence, it is crucial for everyone to know the law and how their rights are protected under them. Even more important is knowing the tell-tale signs that your relationship is about to turn violent.

Common Signs That Your Relationship Is About to Turn Violent

It is time for you to get concerned for your wellbeing if your relationship is characterized by either one of the following troubling signs:

Your partner critiques you on every small thing you do  
Most cases of domestic violence start out slowly, often involving extremely meaningless issues; it could something as small as the way you walk, subtle ways you move your jaw while chewing your food or even the method of holding your fork while putting the morsel of food in your mouth. A violent partner displays their anger by verbally berating you over issues that don’t amount to much in the grand scheme of things.

Paranoia over where you’ve been, whom you’ve been with

Your partner becomes extremely possessive over you, sending you text messages, emails and phone calls every 5 minutes inquiring the minute details of your current location, the nature of your activity, who you’re talking to and similar nonsensical inquiries. The messages start becoming increasingly aggressive if they’re not responded to within a set period of time – it could be as small as a span of 5 minutes.

Conflicting demands

If your partner continue to change their demands, making you unable to live up to them any way you try, then it’s a troubling sign. For instance, you are labeled as a loner, outcast without a social life outside of your relationship with your partner, you’re called a poisonous person who can’t maintain relationships. To refute this blame, you start inviting friends and family member over at dinner. But you’re slandered verbally when you do invite someone over. Similar events could take place surrounding menial things such as food – whether to order it or prepare your meal at home.

The common thing among all these instances is that your partner is trying to isolate you from the world outside so they could torment you at their leisure. It is important to not cave in at this crucial moment and pull out now before you endure too much emotional trauma. The psychological damage being done to you at this stage can take you years to recover from; often involving costly counseling sessions.

Kinds of violence

Kicks to the groin, punches to the face, pushing down the stairs and even the use of sharp objects becomes commonplace in an unhealthy relationship. Both heterosexual and homosexual relationships are marred with domestic abuse and the perpetrator can be both male and female. It is pertinent to note that more lives are lost to domestic violence than to war. Between the years 2001 and 2012, more than 11,000 women were murdered by their partners or ex-partners.

Your chances of getting murdered increase by a factor of 8 if your partner has access to guns. This makes it even more important for you to get help before it’s too late.

Common reasons victims use to justify violence

1) Victim still loves their violent partner. They are fueled by endless reserves of hope and optimism which results in their continued suffering. They pin it all on the unlikely scenario that things would change for the better. Even if the physical torture stops for a brief period of time, human psychology dictates that the violence and discord will resurface later on. Don’t let the temporary sessions of peace confuse you into thinking that this relationship has a peaceful end. It does not.

2) They are financially dependent upon their partner and often times have no viable means of generating income on their own. This dependency locks them in a helpless situation where they’re forced to come up with apologetic justification for their violent circumstances.

3) They have children that need the support of both parents. While it is true that both parents play a vital role in the proper psychological and physiological brought up of their children, the opposite isalso true—when one of the parents tends to be violent.

4) They tend to believe that this is just a temporary phase which will mellow out with the passage of time. Violence is a personality trait that has made for itself a safe haven in the inner recesses of your better half’s mind.

5) Using the phrase “All couples fight”. While it is true that all healthy couples run into friction with each other, they don’t tend to boil down to physical and sexual abuse.

6) Religious reasons such as ‘for better or for worse’ keep the victim glued to an unhealthy, violent marriage. The desire to follow societal norms takes precedence over one’s own safety and security.

The Worst Affected Victim: Children

Children are usually the worst affected victims of domestic violence and abuse; they witness all the verbal berates, the violent episodes and even sexual assaults first hand. It inflicts everlasting psychological wounds that only deepen with the passage of time. They become either too frightful to start their own relationships or reenact the same tradition of violence down the path. It is still up for debate whether violence is inherited genetically or if it is a personality trait picked up due to one’s environmental circumstances – either way, children is where you should draw the line and escape out of the tumultuous relationship before the fallout spills over to them.

If not yourself, then at least save your own children from their impending doom. Whilst it is true that they need their mother or their father, if the spouse is a deranged, troubled, violent individual it will only hamper your child’s growth in the future. It is your moral and legal responsibility to remove them as far away as possible from domestic abuse and report all criminal activity to the authorities.

You will need to contact professional family court lawyers to get custody of your child, at Hardesty Law Office, you will find family court lawyers that have years of experience in practicing family law, with a huge soft spot and empathy reserved specially for children.

Collect as much evidence as possible

You must help yourself before the authorities and your family attorney can help you – start off by collecting as much evidence as possible. The best possible records of your partner’s crimes are cell phone records which might contain threatening text messages, emails and even videos documenting physical violence. Often times, the neighbors also become privy to what is going on behind closed doors, they are possible witnesses who could lend credible testimony in your favor to the courts.

Family court lawyers at Hardesty Law Office will help you get the best legal help to get compensation for the physical and emotional abuse you have gone through. With thorough understanding of the laws in Dallas Forth Worth Metroplex, the only thing needed on your end is your unyielding trust.

 

 

 

 

 

Leave a Reply